The Department of Condemnation
I'd like to welcome you to the inauguration of the newly formed Department of Condemnation. My name is Demitri Muna, and I'm the newly appointed Secretary of Condemnation. "Hey," I hear you inquire, "is this an example of bigger government? Do we really need another federal department?" These are extremely good questions, and I commend you on your civic inquisitiveness. Let me give you a little bit of background, and I think you will find that the Department will prove to be a valuable asset to our government.
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Is that a gauntlet? Why yes. Yes it is.
I have a friend named Louis. Louis lives in one of those middle states. You know the ones. He has a very exciting life; he's always jetting to exotic sounding places like Singapore, Krakow, and Wolverbejanistan. (I might have made the last one up, but you have to admit it does sound rather exotic. At the very least, I know I probably wouldn't want to mess with anyone from there.) In fact, I think Louis might be a spy! Don't tell anyone.
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