So anyway, hello. Welcome to my blog (again). I have stories to tell. Some are pretty unbelievable, but then, there's a heck of a lot of unbelievable behaviour out there. I'm just contributing my fair share.

If you don't know me, I'm a postgraduate student living abroad in the United Kingdom in the final throes of getting my PhD in the field of particle astrophysics. I'm looking for dark matter. I haven't found it yet, but I'll be sure to you let you know when it happens. I love comedy. Maybe if you're lucky I'll add an "about me" page, but for now, that's all you get. Feel free to ask any question you like if you want to know more.

Huge huge thanks to my friend Jack who completely designed this site. Jack rocks. I've always wanted a slick-looking site but lacked both the time and the design talent. Jack did a great job filling this in. If you're looking to give some money to someone to make a web site for you, he's your man. But don't just take my words for it --- no, just do. It'll save time.

Finally, no, not every post will be about condemning things here at the Department of Condemnation, but rest assured, it is our speciality. Our raison d'être, as it were. We here at the DOC are certainly open to suggestions from the public. Have something that needs condemning that you need to be carried out by the official source? Drop us a line here:

The Department of Condemnation hereby issue's it's Christma's condemnation against people who do not know how to use apostrophe's.

This is one of the department's big pet peeve's, and most anyone who know's me has heard me personally go off on this rant myself. It seem's that virtually no one know's how to use apostrophe's anymore. This is the latest example that has triggered this condemnation:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6208295.stm

My friends Sue and Dave sent me a lovely Christmas card. I'm in Salt Lake right now otherwise I'd scan it, but really, it's not the important part of the story. You see, Sue was really busy in her Christmas preparations, and the card that was to be sent to me needed extra postage going to England. She kept the card with her domestic cards (which I'm guessing will be "all of the others"), intending to add the extra postage later. But you know how crazy things get at Christmas, and she had forgotten.

She mailed the card with the others. Sans postage.

Now, I wasn't actually there of course, but I can imagine how it happened. I think I got the details right...

There's a new robot mission to Mars called Phoenix that's set to launch in August of 2007. One interesting tidbit is that NASA is going to include a DVD as kind of a "hello from Earth" on the spacecraft. If you want your name to be on it thereby preserving your legacy for hundreds of years, you can go to this web site. The closing deadline is 1 February 2007, so don't procrastinate.

NASA did something like this a few years back with the Stardust mission and my name is on it, now in space. At any time I can find out where my name, er, Stardust currently is.

I of course disclaim any responsibility for any Martians, thirty years from now, coming to Earth to seek out and eliminate anyone who littered their planet. Or if they send you "thought-spam" from across the Solar System for Martian pyramid schemes. Not my fault.

If the Moon is more your style, add your name (and a message!) to an upcoming Japanese mission to the Moon called SELENE. The deadline is 31 January 2007. I will, however, personally guarantee any attacks from creatures from the Moon resulting from this on this one. Consider it a holiday gift to you. (Go on, consider it. I'll wait.)

I don't think dark matter experiments will be doing this any time soon though.

Sign up on our web site and we'll take your name so deep underground that your oldest ancestors will have to excavate to find it!

Hardly compares to the romantic notion of sending your name to the stars.