Condemnation: Your Monkey Owning Ways
Look, there's something you and I need to talk about. It's kind of important, so hear me out.
Why can't you do it? It's a simple question. Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free? It's not like you're never giving in to it -- in fact, you always are. When that monkey asks for a banana, you cave immediately. You're always giving into it. When it comes down to a choice between it or me, dammit, it's always the monkey. Do you love the monkey, or do you love me?
Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?
Oh I hate your friends. There. I said it. I hate your friends. Well, I want to hate your friends, but unfortunately I don't know how and I don't know when. Honestly, what gets on their nerves? I throw banana peels that your monkey leaves littered around the floor, but they just laugh. It makes me hate them even more. Then, when I finally come up with something to really annoy them, they're not around. Can you maybe leave me a schedule?
Wha--? I didn't see that kiss coming. I'm so angry here that my face looks like Gilbert Gottfried or French Stewart. But... to open my eyes... if you kiss me again, like you did just now, like you did just then, well, maybe I'll overlook the tangle of ropes you installed on the ceiling for your damn monkey.
Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?
Listen, I appreciate your hearing me out. When you say the monkey is gone... well, I want to believe you. I really do. No, there's no monkey in your arms. Ok, ok. Here, give me a hug. Hey! I knew it! Don't look now, there's a monkey on your back! Don't look now there's... never mind. I'm leaving.
