Airbus superjumbo purchased for private use
Sorry everyone. That was me. I can't tell you how embarrassed I am. Really.
Look, I know I have a problem. My entourage has really got out of hand. I've actually become better at cutting back, but that only means that I'm down to adding 2-3 members a day.
You probably think that that's excessive, but to fair, writing a PhD thesis is hard work. I don't have time to keep my index alphabetised, and yes, when I'm on holiday I need that same person around in case I need to know what topics I've covered between "diffusion" and "drift chamber" while sipping on a mojito. You can't expect me to keep that kind of minutia in my head.
What episode of Heroes have I got to? That's Dave. Is it time yet to pay the second instalment of my water bill? That's Gwendolyn. Is my mobile phone fully charged? Andrew. Does my laptop have the latest OS updates? Zoe. The list goes on and on and on.
The thing is, I can't let any of these people go. They're like a, well... entourage to me. While I have little doubt that your own entourage is smaller than mine, I'm sure you understand nonetheless. They need me. And hey, I look out for them too, heck, I just bought them a plane! OK, I bought myself the plane to carry them around, but still, I didn't do it just to make my ego bigger (that's Lauren's job). In fact, I think I deserve some credit though for buying just the one plane! Honestly, do you know how hard it's going to be to decide which members of my entourage will be coming with me on my next flight to Leeds? I don't need that kind of stress. So back off!
I'm sorry. I was a bit brusk with you just then. Please don't judge me too harshly. A heck of a lot is going on in my life, and I'm a mover. I just don't have the time to sit and watch the grass grow (Douglas). I do realise that I have a problem, and I will get better about it. I promise. If you have any advice or suggestions, I would really love to hear them. Please send them to Julie.